Monday, May 4, 2009

Brody's Press Release, with the Color paragraphs

Police Chief Martin Brody, in light of the recent alleged shark attacks, has announced the capture and death of a shark in the waters one mile south-southwest of the town of Amity.

The shark was identified by Matt Hooper, a marine biologist from the Woods Hole, Mass., Oceanographic Institute, as being a nurse shark, one of the most dangerous sharks to humans known to exist.

The town has decided to immediately reopen the beaches it had closed for 24 hours yesterday in light of the shark’s capture.

The Police Chief, however, has said that no autopsy will be performed on the shark to see if it has indeed ingested any parts from a human, saying that they will do so out of respect for Alex Kintner, one of the victims identified.

The Police Chief said not to be alarmed by the presence of shark spotters from numerous government agencies such as the Coast Guard, the Marine Patrol, the Massachusetts State Police, the U.S. Navy, Homeland Security, the FBI and local municipal and county police.

Police Chief Brody was asked if he thought there might be more than one shark, but he said that these types of measures have been implemented so that the beachgoers would be at ease.

Police Chief Brody stressed that the appearance of another shark wasn’t going to happen and that people shouldn’t let anything stop them from seeing Amity’s beaches.

When asked if there was any sort of contingency plan or if they were going to enlist the help of local fisherman Ben Quint, who had offered to rid the town of the shark for $10,000, Police Chief Brody said that there had been thoughts to the matter but nothing definitive.

The beach was full this afternoon, but everyone was afraid to go in until a man took his wife and children in to the water.

Once everyone saw it was safe, Amity’s beaches were in full swing like they always were on the 4th of July.

Soon, however, people began screaming and before anyone knew what truly was going on, there was a chaotic mad rush for the sand from the water and lifeguards were whistling and talking through megaphones to get everyone out of the water.

However, once everyone was out, the shark fin that rose above the water and initially scared everyone off was discovered to be two children with a cardboard fin and snorkels- a hoax.

Amity Town Meeting

In light of the recent alleged shark attacks in the waters near Amity, the town has decided to close the town's beaches for 24 hours during the 4th of July holiday.

Recently Alex Kintner was found dead with signs that indicated it was a shark attack. A young woman, Wendy Watson, was also found dead in such a way that Amity Police Chief Martin Brody thought the deaths clearly were linked.

Alex Kintner's mother has offered a reward of $3,000 to anyone who can bring the shark to justice.

The town held a meeting to discuss the closure the evening of July 3.

After some talking about adding extra deputies to help guard the beach and getting oceanographic specialists to investigate the situation, a town member spoke up and simply asked, "Will the beaches be closed?"

After some hesitation and clear reluctance, Police Chief Brody simply said, "Yes, we are."

However, Mayor Bob Farley spoke up directly after, saying it was only going to be a closure for a duration of 24 hours.

Police Chief Brody's shock at the statement, of which he said he never agreed too, was drowned out by the upset talking of the townsfolk.

This arguing and bickering between the townsfolk only lasted briefly until a man in the back of the room scratched his fingernails on a chalkboard, silencing the previously upset townsfolk with the loud screeching.

Ben Quint, a local fisherman, said he would rid the town of Amity of it's problems.

"I'll catch this bird for you," Quint said. "But it ain't gonna be easy."

In response to the apparent power struggle between the Mayor and the Police Chief, Quint said that he wanted to dispose of the shark himself, saying that "there's just too many captains on this island."

The townspeople around Quint remained shocked and silent as he asked for $10,000 to cure the town's pressing problem.

"If you want to stay alive, then ante up," Quint said. "If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter."

As Quint stood up to leave he said, "For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing."