Brody's Press Release, with the Color paragraphs

Police Chief Martin Brody, in light of the recent alleged shark attacks, has announced the capture and death of a shark in the waters one mile south-southwest of the town of Amity.

The shark was identified by Matt Hooper, a marine biologist from the Woods Hole, Mass., Oceanographic Institute, as being a nurse shark, one of the most dangerous sharks to humans known to exist.

The town has decided to immediately reopen the beaches it had closed for 24 hours yesterday in light of the shark’s capture.

The Police Chief, however, has said that no autopsy will be performed on the shark to see if it has indeed ingested any parts from a human, saying that they will do so out of respect for Alex Kintner, one of the victims identified.

The Police Chief said not to be alarmed by the presence of shark spotters from numerous government agencies such as the Coast Guard, the Marine Patrol, the Massachusetts State Police, the U.S. Navy, Homeland Security, the FBI and local municipal and county police.

Police Chief Brody was asked if he thought there might be more than one shark, but he said that these types of measures have been implemented so that the beachgoers would be at ease.

Police Chief Brody stressed that the appearance of another shark wasn’t going to happen and that people shouldn’t let anything stop them from seeing Amity’s beaches.

When asked if there was any sort of contingency plan or if they were going to enlist the help of local fisherman Ben Quint, who had offered to rid the town of the shark for $10,000, Police Chief Brody said that there had been thoughts to the matter but nothing definitive.

The beach was full this afternoon, but everyone was afraid to go in until a man took his wife and children in to the water.

Once everyone saw it was safe, Amity’s beaches were in full swing like they always were on the 4th of July.

Soon, however, people began screaming and before anyone knew what truly was going on, there was a chaotic mad rush for the sand from the water and lifeguards were whistling and talking through megaphones to get everyone out of the water.

However, once everyone was out, the shark fin that rose above the water and initially scared everyone off was discovered to be two children with a cardboard fin and snorkels- a hoax.